A Good Day

Today I woke up with peace in my heart. It has been a while. I realized that my cup is running over and I am so blessed. I have a wonderful husband and 3 sons and a daughter, and Princess (our family pet) and Selah (my grand-dog) that loves me. What more could I ask for? I have had a good day!
It has been hard the last few weeks with Mother being sick and then with her passing. I don't really know how to feel. Do I supposed to dwell on what has happened? Am I not being a strong Christian if I think on it and start to cry? Am I weak? Sometimes, I sit in the morning drinking my coffee and my mind goes right to thinking about her and I start to cry again. Is that wrong? I have been trying to stay busy so that I would not think about it so much. In doing that I do not know if that is really dealing with losing Mother. How do I supposed to feel when I do not have parents anymore to lean on, to ask for advice about something, etc? It all seems so unreal. It is almost like it is someone else's life that I am looking at. I have been in a daze for a while. I do not know if it is just fatigue or what. I have been sleeping better the last few days. Thank God for that. I still have trouble focusing at times. WE supposed to be closing on our house that we are buying and I can't seem to get into it anymore. What do I supposed to do? I need to pack but it is hard to get going again. I have got to get it together. Nathanael asked me one day if I had remembered something that he had asked about earlier. I told him that I could not remember him even asking me anything. I apologized to him and in his sweet way, he forgave me. The family has been so supportive and understanding. Thank you everyone. I know there will still be days that will be hard, but I know through Christ that there will be days that will be fabulous. I do praise my Heavenly Father in whom I can trust.
My younger sister told me that she said to herself one day, when I called (on her birthday, the 16th) that she knew Mother would not want her to be sad on her special day. So she decided that she was going to be happy. She has been dealing with all of this her own way by saying that Mother is on a much needed rest and that she will see her and Dad again. I have been trying to do that today. It may be different tomorrow but I am doing great now. That is what counts. Thanks, sis.
Sorry if this has been jumbled a little. I guess that is ok. It is sometimes hard to write really the way I feel. I guess that I wonder what someone will think of me. I've always been that way. Being a minister's wife, I have had to keep a lot of things inside for many years. I guess that is why it is hard to write anything. But, that is for another day, I guess.
To God be the Glory!