Change

Change is not easy at all. When we think all is going well, then something happens and puts a halt to it all. Sometimes there is growth in change and sometimes not. I believe, how we look and embrace change, determines the outcome of our life. It will make us or break us. This brings me to what happened this past weekend, when I went back home, to have an estate sale, at Mother's house. There was some things that was sold, by accident, of my brother's, that he did not want sold, but he did not have them marked. We had been after him for weeks to get things together. When we opened the garage that morning, nothing was marked. We didn't know what to do. He stayed out drinking the night before and was gone that morning also. He showed up about 11:00 am. We could not reach him. He would not answer his calls. What were to do? It was time for the sale. People were arriving and he had not answered our numerous calls. Anyway, he is still mad about it. We can't get the items back. He is wanting money from us, that he says that we owe for the tools that were sold. He has not paid anything towards the payment on the house or utilities that he promised to pay. The money that was made, was to help pay for the bills that were due of Mother's. If we pay him, it will be difficult to pay much of them. What am I to do? I need God's Wisdom. It has been so very tiring and difficult. The Friday before the sale, Debbie, Jan and myself, along with our spouses, met with an attorney. We had to meet with him because of a couple of problems that had come up with two of our siblings concerning Mother's estate. It became a real bad ordeal between all of us. We did not want to have to probate the will, but they left us no choice. I am responsible to let all the kids know of the date and time of the probate hearing, in case someone wanted to contest the will. I pray that it won't happen. I am so weary from everything, from Mother illness, travelling back and forth, her passing, hearing arguments between the kids. Now a lawyer and hearing is involved. I have to take care of Mother's affairs also. I am ready for it all to be done with. I am trying to get ready to move into my house, by the end of April, that Wayne and I have bought. I feel the weight of everything is on my shoulders. God, I need you. I can't make it without you. I need your strength and power to make it through all of this. It breaks my heart to see what is happening to my family. There is nothing that I can do to keep it all from unravelling before me. To keep the family together is almost impossible. I know that God is the only way of keeping it together. I pray that He will take control and do what is right and honest and what is best for all. I am so glad that Dad and Mom are not here seeing this. They would be heart broken. They have raised us better than this.
My children did something for me today that blessed me and helped me get through the day. They had bought a meal from KFC with the works. They set it up in the kitchen at the new house. That is not all. They had a bouquet of white and pink roses and put them up in the cabinet for me to find. I started to cry and hugged each one of them. You know, I am so blessed! Sometimes, I believe God sends the smallest of things to show us, what He thinks of us. He loves me! This I know. Thank you Jesus, for that. I know that I can make it through this change in my life. It will be hard and it will be difficult, but I know that I do not have to go it alone. I have my Lord and I have Wayne and my kids. I am blessed!!