Saturday, October 31, 2009

Our House

Donald, my oldest brother, called and said that there was someone wanting to buy mom and dad's house. That is such a marvelous thing. Since being the executrix over mom's estate, it has been hard to oversee that things go well. With me being 3 hrs away it has been very difficult to do. Donald , Debbie and Jan has helped me with checking up on things with the house. They have been such a blessing to me. I will never be able to express what that has meant to me. It has been such a burden for us. Keeping the appearance up as well on the house has been difficult also. It is such a cute house. I hope that we have done well and that mom and dad would have been proud of the way we have handled things. I know that they are gone but part of me still wants to feel like they, in some way, would be proud of us. A few of the kids have not helped at all but that is alright. I am not going to worry about something that I cannot fix. God is a better choice to take care of that. I am rejoicing in my heart anyway. God is still on the throne and knows exactly where I am at and what I need. Thank you Father. I love you.

A New Thing

We have finally moved our store out of the mall to a new location. Praise be to God! We are so thrilled. Since our move in September it has rough going financially. I just know that God will help us. We understand that it will take a while to get it up and running to support the family. It's just trying to survive till then. God has done great and marvelous things. He shows us everyday that he will provide if we believe and trust in him. I have prayed the scripture in Isaiah 43:19 where it is saying that God is about to do a brand new thing. See, I have already begun! Can you not see it?... Isn't he wonderful? It is so exciting. Just the expectation alone of what he is about to do, is awesome. What he has planned for all of us and the gifts that he wants to bless us with, are amazing. "God you are my God and I will ever praise you". We must learn to praise him no matter what comes our way. Stay focused on him and let him direct our lives. David said in Psalms that he had never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging for bread. Glory to God! Our Redeemer lives! Through it all, God is still God!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Missing Mom

I am really missing mom tonight. My heart feels so heavy. I miss her sweet embrace. I could always call her and tell her anything and she would never scold or judge. She loved me unconditionally. Oh I wished I could here her tender voice right now. I was so blessed to have her in my life. Oh how I miss her. "Mom, I miss you! My heart cries and aches for you at times. You were my best friend besides Wayne. I have ask myself many times what am I going to do? What am I going to do? You had always been my prayer partner. I could call you about a problem and you would always let me talk. You told me many times that when you could not sleep that you would just pray for your kids and people that you knew. There were many times, I remember, that we would laugh over something funny and you would always get a cramp in your side. You were a sight. No matter what mom, you taught me to trust God and lean on Him. You taught me to depend on His Word and to take Him at it. You taught me to praise and worship no matter the situation I was facing. You taught me to love everyone and to not hold grudges and not to judge anyone for their mistakes for they will answer to God themselves, just as I will one day. You taught me to not be bitter in the circumstances that I face in my life. You taught me to always search my life everyday to make sure that I am right with God. You taught me to love life itself. You taught me that God will always wrap His arms around me and hold me and help me through tough times as well as the good. I know that He does. Mom, you knew that my kids are my life besides Wayne and the Lord. Mom, Philip and Dana hurt so bad and I don't know how to help them. I love them so much that sometimes my heart feels like it could burst inside. I ache mom and I have cried for them many times. It greives me that I cannot take it all away and change things. I see their sadness and I want to wrap them up in my arms and shelter them from all the hurt that they have been going through. I want to see them laugh again and be happy. I want them to know that they are blessed and highly favored and that during this season in their lives that God is with them. He hasn't left them. He hasn't forsaken them. Mom, I wished that you were here. I need to talk to you! I know that you would help me pray for all my babies. My precious babies! I know that in time they will all be alright. I know that they will. I love you, mom. Thanks for teaching me that Jesus will give me strength to go on no matter what I face in life if I trust and lean on Him. Thanks for living a life before me that I have always wanted to pattern my life after. You were the greatest. Truly you were. Say hello to daddy for me. I miss him too. Hold my grandbaby for me. I am so happy that the three of you are together and we will be with you all soon. I love knowing that I have that hope. I love you mom. Oh how I love you. One day these tears will be gone from our eyes, won't they? For joy will come in the morning. I remember you singing that sweet song, "Joy Comes in the Morning". It will be that way soon, won't it? My family will be happy and whole again. I know that they will. I speak and declare it, in the Mighty Name of Jesus. Well, mom I don't want to say it, but I must, Good night mom. Till next time. I love you." God, hold all my babies tonight. You have given me such precious gifts. I am so blessed and highly favored. I ask you to bless them and anoint them for your glory and honor. To God be the glory!